Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
