i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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