Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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