He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
