genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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