is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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