my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
