"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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