You're completely useless in the revolution.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sext me about skeletons
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
