my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
