my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
