Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
