get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
