Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
