A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
