i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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