So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
