we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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