her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
