ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
