I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
