Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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