it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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