I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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