so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
