my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
worst night to have a conscience
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
