Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
