I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
