Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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