so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
