all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
