I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
