There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
