Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
