flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
