Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
