census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
