Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
