he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
