what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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