why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
