I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
someone owes me an orgasm
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
it's great music for shaving your balls
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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