trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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