I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Do vagina's smell?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
