Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
