I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
