I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
