Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
my nose is crying tears of wow.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
