i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
