I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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