I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
