I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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