I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
