I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
