Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
