In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
