why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
